What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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