5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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