Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
