We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
