Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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