We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
