so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
please come you make the beer taste better
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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