I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
