My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
