his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I currently don't understand fingers.
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