Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
