So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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