; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize