Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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