Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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