This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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