omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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