I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
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