I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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