whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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