he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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