is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
