just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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