if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize