nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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