I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
