Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
