But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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