Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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