just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize