she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
