I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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