Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
