My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
