Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
