Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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