May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
