Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I touched a dick in church today
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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