Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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