Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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