Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
