so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
