David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
