tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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