that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
