Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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