I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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