He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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