im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
