oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
