Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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