i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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