i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
