Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
