Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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