ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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