So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
