i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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