My sheets look like a crime scene.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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