wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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