Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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