I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
