Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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